#people are literally sneezing onto the desks at school. fuck off people use that after you.

[weaselishmcdiesel]

Also. If you are able to cover your face with your elbow before you sneeze/cough FUCKING DO IT.

Fucking hell like everyone forgot how to cover your sneezes what the fuck. Did Covid never happen to you guys

AND DONT SNEEZE/COUGH INTO YOUR FUCKING HAND IF YOU ARENT ABOUT TO WASH IT Jesus

[jaefluenza]

Mellifluous | Mark x reader

genre: fluff/slice of life

pairing: Classmate!Mark x you

other characters: Jaemin, Renjun, Jeno, Chenle, Jaehyun, Lami (ex SMrookie)

summary: you tried to forget music after you failed your first audition with a misunderstanding. But Mark Lee, your new classmate, helps you finds your desire to love music again.

You walked into the empty classroom, feeling glad that you’re early. You put your bag onto the desk and lay your head on it. The breeze swaying some of your hair put you to a short nap. Minutes later, you’re being awakened by the noisy loud boys. You look up and glance at the clock. It’s 10 minutes away before the class starts, so you decide to get a drink from the vending machine.

You walk through the hallway, avoiding another student’s glance as you walk towards the vending machine. Well, one thing you hate about the vending machine is it was placed besides the music room, the only room you hate in the school. You ignored the piano sounds from inside, inserting the coin in. Once you get your drink, you flinched at one certain face in front of you.

“You scared me, Jaemin! Don’t do that again, please.”

Jaemin snorts, “Why are you in front of the music room?” His eyes lit up. “Are you going to be interested again in music-” You hurriedly close Jaemin’s fussy mouth as you glare at him.

“Stop it, Jaemin. I’m not doing whatever is in your mind now. Let’s just get back to class, it’s almost starting.”

You literally dragged Jaemin back to class. “You know what, y/n. There’s always another chance you know.”

You ignored him as you let go of his hand, leaving him to go to your own desk.

You stare at the window as you reminisce your bitter past with music.

You worked part time in order to obtain your own pocket money without bothering your parents. You got plenty of money from it, and you used them to apply for vocal and music courses. You were in love with music. You discovered your nice voice since junior year, when your friends forced you to sing at a birthday party. Your friends applauded and told you to join the music club at school. So, you did. And to work up your skills, you attended vocal and music courses. You also bought a guitar with your own money. Everything went great and you fell in love with music everyday.

“Why don’t you participate in an audition?” Renjun asked you who’s playing a piano across him. You stopped your finger play.

“Hm, I don’t know. My vocal skill is still average and I don’t have the confidence to compete with hundreds or maybe thousands of talented people.”

Lami chimes in, “You call that diamond voice average? Then I must be a dying goat then.”

You chuckled, “No, you’re just exaggerating that.”

“Believe me, y/n, you have a beautiful talented voice. And your music skills are superb. You deserve a chance to do an audition.”

You couldn’t believe that Renjun would say that about you. He has been a playful savage in the club, but now you could feel his sincerity.

“Yeah, I totally agree. I heard MBK is arranging an audition in our school next month. You should totally join it.”

You looked at Lami, Renjun, Chenle, and the others.

“Maybe I should do it.”

So you spent your times practicing for the upcoming audition. You were so sure that you’ll rock the audition. A day before the audition, you hurried your way to your workplace, forgetting your umbrella. You’ve watched the weather forecast and they said it’s gonna rain. You didn’t care though, all you wished was to finish your work and then prepare yourself for tomorrow.

And they were right. 10 minutes before your shift completed, heavy rain started to pour down and it was quite stormy. You sighed, regretting how you didn’t give a fuck about leaving your umbrella at class. So your day ended with you walking home literally drenched from the heavy rain.

The next day, Renjun and Jaemin were waiting for you to in front of the hallroom, where the audition was held. “Where do you think she is? She should be taking her number by now!” Jaemin panicked.

“Do you think I don’t know that? I’m not stupid, Jaemin. I am clearly as worried as you right now- there she is! Y/n!” Renjun spotted you weakly walking to the hallway.

Your pale face changed their excitement into worries. “Are you alright? Why are you so pale??”

“I forgot my umbrella yesterday so I walked home like a wet cat.” You said before you sneezed. “Geez, I don’t think I’m gonna make it. I’ll just give up and join another one someday.”

“No. An open audition like this rarely goes to our school, so you still have to take it.” Renjun convinced you.

Jaemin nodded, “Yeah, besides, you have practiced for a month long. You can do it.”

You sigh, “What if my voice cracks? To tell them I am sick doesn’t make any sense though.”

Jaemin shakes his head, “No, y/n. You can do it. Now, take your number and sit down in the applicant section.” He put his hand on your shoulder, assuring you that everything will be alright.

So you ended up sitting as an applicant. You keep hearing students around you practicing, while you only busy clearing your throat and drinking water to make sure your hoarse voice won’t crack. Jaemin, Renjun and some of your clubmates sit on the audience section, anticipating your turn.

You watched proudly as Lami finished her audition with positive reactions from the judges. You give her hearts and smiles as she smiled excitedly at you.

After an hour, you heard your number being called. You nervously walked towards the front, the stage, reminding yourself that this is an open audition and a lot of students are watching you right now. You bow as you hold the mic in your hand, smiling at the judges. You introduced yourself before they ask you to sing.

You start off with a nice tone, until you feel your voice straining a little bit at the refrain. You keep your tone stable until you have to reach the highnote in the end.

That’s where your voice cracks poorly, and you heard people cringing. You stopped singing, shocked at how your efforts for the last month becoming useless because of a freaking cold. You bowed as an apology and you looked down, waiting for what the judges will say.

“Woah, I’m sorry, student y/n, I don’t understand why you joined this open audition just to embarrass yourself.”

“I’m sorry, but you sounded like a strangled cat.”

“I don’t think we can accept you, maybe you have to practice for a few more years.”

You feel disappointed in yourself, but in the tiny deepest corner in your heart, you still wanna fight for it.

“I’m sorry, but I am having a cold. Can I have a second chance? I’ll do better-”

“Using cold as an excuse? This is intolerable. We are sorry but you don’t have another chance. Please leave. Next, number 124!”

You leave the stage while holding your tears. At the moment, you feel like the entire world crumbles upon you, you feel embarrassed and disappointed in yourself. How could you believe you can succeed an audition while having a cold? Are you Taeyeon or IU? Negative thoughts circles around your head, until someone yells your name across the hallway.

“Y/n, wait! I-” Renjun couldn’t finish his words as you snapped at him.

“I told you I couldn’t make it, Renjun! Why did you both push me into embarrassment like this? I told you my singing skills are average and now I discovered that I sing like a strangled cat.”

Jaemin feels guilty as he looked at your tears, wanting to erase them off your cheeks.

“No, y/n, I don’t mean that. Please-”

You cut him off, “Enough. I told you I’ll join another audition but no, I guess I won’t attend one anymore. And please leave me alone for awhile.”

That’s how you leave the music club, your vocal and music courses, and also your beloved guitar in your room. You packed the guitar in it’s bag and put it in the stockroom.

The teacher’s entrance cut off your flashbacks and you straighten your position. The teacher is not alone, he brings someone with him too, that you assume is a new student. The girls in the room squeals, well, it’s a boy and he’s quite charming, you thought.

“Good morning, everyone. Let me introduce a new student that will joining us in this class. He is a transfer student from Hanlim Art School. So, would you introduce yourself?” The teacher turns at the black-haired boy as he nod politely.

“Ah, yes. Hello everyone. I am Lee Minhyung but everyone calls me Mark. Mark Lee. I grew up in Canada, but I moved back to Korea to be a trainee in SM entertainment. Yeah, that’s all from me.”

You heard everyone wowed at him. Well, you found out why he looks so charming, he’s a trainee from a big and popular company.

“Okay, thank you Mark. Please have a sit there, in front of y/n. Y/n, please raise your hand.”

You lazily raise your hand and he makes an eye contact with you. You put down your hand and awkwardly look away. You feel his steps coming towards you. You look up to meet his smile back, as he take his seat in front of you. You return his smile with a small grin.

At recess, you planned to sit alone while enjoying your lunch, but that seems to wouldn’t happen because the minute you put your tray on one of the empty tables, Na Jaemin and Lee Jeno also put their trays on the same table as you. You looked at them both.

“I planned to have lunch by myself today, though.”

“That’s too much.” Jaemin pouted.

“Yeah, let us eat with you, okay.”

Jeno gives you his signature eyesmile as he put his hand on your shoulder. You shrugged and proceed to eat your lunch.

“You know, that new student, he was in Hanlim. Y/n’s dream school!” Jaemin exclaimed excitedly. You shake your head slowly, “It was my dream school, but not anymore.”

Jeno looked up from his meal, “But you used to like that school a lot. Well, why not liking it anymore?”

“I think you both knew well what was the reason.” You scoff.

“Well, Y/n. We care a lot for you as your friends, I just want to say, you can’t give up your dream like that-”

“Ah.. our dreams can change as time passes by, yeah, uhm.” Jaemin chimes in as you thank him with your eyes.

Before Jeno gets to reply, another tray was put gently on the table. The three of you looked up. It’s the new student, Mark Lee.

“Hey guys, can I sit here?” He asked with an awkward smile.

“Well, there’s no reason why you can’t sit with us.”

Jeno looked at you with an odd look. “What the hell? You weren’t like that to us awhile ago.”

Jaemin snorts, “I know right. Yeah, sit here Mark. I am Jaemin and this is Jeno.” Mark nods as he sit down next to you.

“I didn’t tell you to sit beside her though..” Jaemin scoffs.

After some minutes of awkward silence, Jeno decided to open up a conversation.

“Hey, Mark. You transferred from Hanlim. Why?” Jeno asked.

“Well we recently move to our new dorm so this school is the nearest one so yeah. This school seems pretty nice, though I have yet to tour around, can someone tour me around?”

“Yeah, sure. Y/n can tour you around.” Jaemin said calmly.

“What? W-why me?” You look up in panic. “You don’t like it?” Mark frowns.

You feel another panic, “N-no. It’s not like that. I mean... urgh okay. I’ll tour you around after lunch.” You agreed. “I’ll go first.” You stand up and bring your tray.

Mark smiles as he finished up his lunch, somehow feeling excited about touring the school around with you.

“Yo, a little advice, she might seems to act cold around people, but you only need to approach her gently, don’t bring her pressure. She’s actually very sweet and charming, you just have to know her well.” Jaemin explains to Mark.

“Thank you, guys. Well, she’s indeed charming though.”

So you ended up with Mark, walking around the halls side to side. And there you are, walking towards the room you never walk into anymore.

“This is the last room I’ll show you. The music room. The music club members practice and hang out here everyday. If you want to join this club, you can reach Na Jaemin from our class or Huang Renjun from 3-1.” You explained boringly to Mark.

“I’ll definitely join this club. Thank you for the tour, y/n. Anyway, what club do you join?”

“Uhm, I was- well, I’m joining the broadcast club.” You replied. “Let’s go back to class, shall we?”

You befriended Mark. He’s a gentle boy and he takes care of you a lot. He also got so close with the other guys from the music club. You never hang out with them since the audition accident but with Mark, he easily make you go out with them whether it’s going to the theme park or simply going to a cafe. He makes you feel comfortable without being pressured.

Today, you decided to invite Mark to your house. He said he missed home cooked meals so you asked your mom to cook for him. He visited your house often so your mom knows him, and he adores him. She loves to cook for him as he eats so well.

“Well, you’re lucky my brother is home. He just got discharged from military last week. You can play fortnite with him when I’m working on some work.”

“Really? Woah, why do I feel so nervous to meet your brother?” Mark touched his chest, signaling how his heart is beating so fast.

You laugh, “Are you in love with my brother or something? Why are you so nervous to meet him, you silly..”

“Haha, I don’t even know why.” Mark blushes. The red shades on his cheeks are so cute that you proceeded to squish them.

“Ouch! That hurts! What are you doing?” Mark asks shyly.

“You’re so cute, Mark. I can’t resist it.”

Your mom cooked a lot of delicious foods you can feel your stomach about to explode. After dinner, your brother asked Mark to play fortnite with him and Mark gladly answered yes. So you cleaned yourself and spend your time working on the broadcast material you need to finish until thursday.

Meanwhile, downstairs..

“So, have you heard?” Jaehyun looked at Mark.

“About what?”

“Y/n’s last audition. The reason why she quit music.”

Mark nodded, “Yeah, I’ve heard. The guys told me, but I’ve never brought it up in front of her. I know it’s a sensitive topic to talk about so I managed to never ask her about it.”

“You did great. But, as her brother who just got discharged, I wish you could push her into music again. She was really passionate about music and singing. She used to send me a lot of recording of her singing, or just her playing the piano, and I loved them. I know deep down she still has the desire to do music again, to sing again, but I just can’t figure how to help her yet.”

Mark frowned as he listens. “I just want to make her feel comfortable around me. I don’t know if I help her with music, she will avoid me like she tends to avoid others.”

“Man, you don’t know how much she talks about you. Don’t tell her you hear it from me, she will get mad. But I think she’s really comfortable with your presence. You should try.”

Mark’s eyes blink with embarrassment. He somehow feels nervous after hearing that you talk about him often. So, he decided to give it a try.

You finished your writing before you heard a knock on your door. It must be Mark.

“Yeah, come in.”

A second after, he entered the room with a bowl of apples in his hands.

“Your mom told me to bring it to you. Did you finish your work?” He asks gently as he put the bowl on your table.

“I just did.”

Mark nodded. He then sighed as he sit down on your fluffy carpet.

You joined him with the apples. “What’s wrong, Mark?”

He looks into your eyes, “There is something I want to bring up to you, but I’m not sure if you’ll be comfortable enough to talk about it.”

You know where this is leading to, but you shrug as you look away.

“Just spill. I know you’re gonna be curious as well, and because we’re close enough, you deserve to know.” You replied softly with a smile.

“Well, y/n. I spent half of my teenage life as a trainee. I came here as a foreigner, but luckily I was a quick learner, so I worked really hard to become the way I am now. But that doesn’t mean I don’t know anything about failure. I failed twice on my piano lesson. I used to hate myself because everyone is good at piano, why couldn’t I? So I worked really really hard to learn the damn instrument and I made it.” He paused to look at you. You fell into a deep silence.

“The thing is, I heard about what happened to you. The guys told me, but I really want to know your side of story. I wanna hear it from you, I want to know more of you, y/n. How did you feel.. that day?”

Hearing the sincerity from his words make you broke into tears. He flinched in panic, and then holding you closer to him as he soothes you with words.

“Oh, I’m sorry y/n. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“No. I-i.. I just feel so.. amused that you asked about how did I feel about it. No one has been listening to me. No one wanted to know how did I feel to be humiliated in front of so many people. To be told that you cannot sing, and you don’t have any talent. Well, it could be true but.. somehow I felt like what I worked hard for was useless. I felt useless.”

Mark nods as he continue to listens.

“I avoided everything about music, because I feel like I don’t deserve to do it. Getting cursed on stage somehow had me hypnotized that I shouldn’t do it anymore. I don’t want to go on another audition, so I don’t need to do anything involved with music anymore.”

“You don’t have to go on an audition to be involved with music, y/n. You can do it for yourself. If you want to play music, do it. You don’t have to do it for others to see. But I do believe that you have the talent for others to see. You have your own charm with music, y/n.”

“How are you so sure about it? You have never heard me sing.”

“Oh, do you think I would ignore every humming sounds behind me? Even they sound beautiful. How I wish I could hear you sing.”

“Well, your wish will be granted. I will.. try to sing again, unless you’re gonna be the one watching.”

“Good deal.”

So, the next day, you and Mark sneak into the music room. It was the day when Mark received a message from the music club groupchat that there were no meeting that day. Everyone’s busy preparing for the upcoming final exams. So after waving goodbye to Jaemin and Jeno, you both made an “eating-bingsoo” excuse to go to the music room.

While Mark open the door, you hesitate to step in. You stare around the room. Somehow you miss practicing here, playing around with the guys, harmonizing with Lami and Koeun, and playing tag with Renjun and Chenle. You sigh, looking back at Mark who waited for you to step in.

You enter the room without pressure, remembering Mark’s words to just relax as if you only come to play. You walk past Mark towards the grand piano across the room, the one you used to practice with. “It’s been so long since I touch this piano.”

“I bet you’re still great at it.” Mark reassures you.

You looked at Mark before finally sit down to play. “I-i..”

Mark nods, “Go on, I’m listening.”

You play the intro of your favorite song, “Baby Baby” by 4MEN.

“I don't know the reason why I changed..

I've been thinking for a long time

After you and I met

It seems like I changed

Quite a lot

Can you hear this song?”

Mark stares at the way you sing. He’s very mesmerized by the way your fingers dancing on the piano. He’s also very stunned by your voice.

“Oh, thank you so much.. oh baby..

You are so pretty

I can't take my eyes off of you

My eyes only see you

I only want to keep looking at you..”

You closed your eyes and sigh, you finally sing again. You glance at Mark with teary eyes. He clapped proudly before walking to give you a hug. You gladly wrap your arms around his body, letting out a satisfied sigh while he pat your head.

“That was beautiful.” Mark whispered. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you Mark. Thanks for helping me find my hope.”

Months after finding your passion in music with the help of Mark, you grow to be a lot happier. You open yourself to your friends, and they gladly welcome your old self back. They decided to respect your choice no matter what happens, as long as you’re happy. Of course you didn’t join the music club back, you told everyone that you’re gonna enjoy music to yourself, to have fun.

While Mark is nearing his debut, you sometimes help him relieve his stress by helping him with his music. You help him write his rap or sometimes you make guitar samples for him.

And now, here you are on the prom day, wearing a beautiful white short dress, waiting for your date in front of the hallroom. After greeting some of your friends with their date, you finally see him coming.

Mark walks towards you with a bucket of flowers in his hands, smiling charmingly. “Hey, you look beautiful tonight. I- I mean, you always look beautiful everyday, but tonight you look.. uhm, different. Urgh, I don’t know what I’m saying,” Mark rumbles.

You receive the bucket and smell it, “Thank you Mark, you look handsome too, you know.” You smiled.

Mark reaches for your hand, and offers you to go with him. “Shall we?”

You nod and take his hand in yours.

“Sooooo! Tonight is a special day! And we also have our dinner and now our stomach is really full of good food! But the special thing is not here yet! So, now we will proceed to see a performance from our dear friend from the music club, he will be performing a song with a secret featuring. Mark Lee, y’all!!!” Donghyuck screamed into the mic as he nods at Mark who’s ready with his mic.

Meanwhile, you stand behind Mark, hands shaking from nervousness, as you grip your mic tightly. Mark notices your nervousness. He put both of his hands on your shoulder as he looks directly into your eyes. “Are you alright?”

“M-mark, I don’t think I can do it.”

“Listen, y/n. Just pretend that the kids aren’t there. Just see it as if we’re only having fun, serenading each other. You know we love to sing together, right? It’s gonna be okay, I’m here with you.”

You look into Mark’s eyes to search for any sincerity and reassurance from his eyes, and that’s it. You find them. You quickly gain your confidence as you nod frequently.

He holds his guitar in his left hand and uses the other one to hold your hand, leading you to the stage. Everyone screamed in surprise, not believing that you are gonna sing at the stage again.

Renjun sends a look to Jaemin and Jeno, “Did they told you about this???”

Jaemin shakes his head, “No! I’m literally shook right now!”

You ignored all the hollers and looked at Mark with a smile, before closing your eyes to focus.

Mark started his intro, focusing in his fingers as he plays delicately. He started his first verse,

“She is the sweetest thing that I know..

You should see the way she holds me when the lights go low

Shakes my soul like a pot hole, every time

Took my heart upon a one way trip

Guess she went wandering off with it

Unlike most women I know

This one will bring it back whole.

Daisies, daisies perched upon your forehead

Oh my baby, lately I know..”

He smiled at you, reassuring you for the last time that it’s gonna be alright.

You look at him dearly as you start to sing,

“That every night I'll kiss you you'll say in my ear

Oh we're in love aren't we?

Hands in your hair, fingers and thumbs baby

I feel safe when you're holding me near

Love the way that you conquer your fear

You know hearts don't break around here..”

That’s when Mark keeping the eyecontact with you, as you both start singing the last part together, harmonizing beautifully.

“yeah yeah yeah,

yeah yeah yeah yeah..

Yeah yeah yeah yeah.”

Mark put down his guitar as the audience clapping and screaming for both of you.

He takes your hand as you both proceed to bow for the audience. You looked at your friends cheering loudly for both of you, and you waved at them before going back with Mark to the backstage.

You scream into Mark’s shoulder as he laughs with you. “I did it! We did it, Mark! We both did so well!”

He caresses your shoulder gently, “I know right. You did so well, y/n. I’m so proud of you!”

You let go, and smile at him dearly. “I could never thank you enough Mark.”

“You can, right now.”

“What? How?”

“By being my girlfriend. Will you be one?” Mark asks, it becomes his turn to be nervous.

You blink, “I- of course.. Mark, I.. will.”

He shows you his big happy grin as he pulls you into a big hug.

Indeed, that night is a night for you both to remember.

[john-silver-stargazer-blog]

Where the Sidewalk Ends // Selfie

The school was eerily quiet without all of the sounds of its bustling student body. And now that the Castle was largely devoid of witnesses, it meant that John could finally get down to what he’d come here to do: win big.

He clunked his way into the library and peered inside. After the disaster of the May explosion had been cleaned up, John had worried that the library would be under intense surveillance but, no, there seemed to be no one in sight, including staff. Grinning, John eased inside, shut the doors behind him, and pulled out a crumpled paper from his coat. It read:

“If the treasure you would seek, listen closely to what I speak;

only my true successor will find its place, all those unworthy will find disgrace;

Find the place where there are more spines than men, go to the east and count pace to ten.”

Legend told that the Enchantress Morgana amassed a great fortune before she was eventually struck down by Merlin; but not before she purportedly hid said fortune on a remote Caribbean island. In the diaries of Salazar Slytherin, the noble Hogwarts founder made mention of having found and hid that treasure somewhere within the castle.

However, because Slytherin recorded this entry during the twilight years of his life—when he was more belligerent than coherent—most historians chalked this up the delusions of an old man’s imagination. Of course, many students and wizards alike had searched the castle for such a treasure but with no luck.

In his heart, though, John knew that this couldn’t have been just the fancies of a barmy old codger. Slytherin was a blood-purist and straight up dick, but the man was sharp and proud. Silver had always had faith in his house and as such he had always been certain that there was more to this legend that met the eye.

And that suspicion had been confirmed after a poker game in Leeds one year ago.

--

One year earlier…

John hadn’t expected much when Crabby, who’d run out of sickles, had wagered the rusty copper gadget. Honestly, the lad had a habit of tall tales: “Oh, yeah, dis here machine can sees da future!” or “No, Johnny, I swear dat dis pickle-fork can sense danger!” but since he was a pal, and John had been beating him handily, he let Crabby toss down the spindly decoder onto the money pile. Sure, he’d wailed something fierce when he (inevitably) lost, but John took up his winnings all the same.

“What’s this thing even do, Crab?” John dangled the gadget from his metal fingers.

Crabby shrieked and made to grab for the item, but John swiftly held it out of the shorter man’s reach. “It’s a decoder! Ya know, for decoding things!”

Ah. Clearly Crabby didn’t have any idea what the thing actually did; he probably swiped it from some old wizard’s garage sale. At any rate, John didn’t think much of it and went about his life just the same.

A few months after John found himself reading through Slytherin’s complete works yet again. Now, John wasn’t much of a reader himself—he much more preferred practical application—but the writings of Slytherin were something that John couldn’t tear himself away from.

John’d always returned to reading the passages the wizard had written about the treasures of Morgana. Salazar had described it in such poetic detail: the size and shimmer of rubies, gleaming emeralds, milky opals… the thought of it was enough to drive any man crazy. Loads of people thought that Salazar was a nutter and never really found the treasure, but something in John’s gut told him otherwise. Salazar Slytherin was kind of a dick, a blood purist, and a paranoid narcissist, but the one thing he wasn’t was a quitter. John knew that the founder of his own house would have rested at nothing until he’d uncovered the famed treasure of Morgana.

“And there I stood, the vast cavern of riches before me. I knew that Morgana had left all of this for me, for someone truly worthy of her legacy.”

A tickle crept up John’s nose, and the big man let out an enormous sneeze, shaking his chair and propelling his body forward. The copper decoder fell out of his coat pocket and clattered noisily onto the desk. John grabbed up the gadget—he’d nearly forgotten about the stupid thing.

“Back into me coat you git, little bugger.”

John made to put the thing back into his coat when he realized he’d gotten snot onto his book. “Oh fer fucks’ sake!” Rubbing at the boogers with his coat, something incredible happened. The glass circle of the decoder turned a lavender, and suddenly John could see words through them that hadn’t been there before.

“If the treasure you would seek…”

--

And so here John was a year later, in the library where there were more spines than men, about to uncover the mysterious location of Morgana’s treasure. He faced the East and counted his paces exactly until he entered the stacks labeled, “Magical Medicine, Maladies, and Mundification.”

John eagerly entered the aisle and was momentarily disappointed when the treasure didn’t immediately leap out to great him.

“Alright Johnny, get a grip.” He muttered to himself, stalking up the row and searching for anything that stuck out…

…and again…

And again…

And again…

He paced up and down the stack of books like a caged tiger. This was ridiculous! What was he even supposed to be looking for? John scowled down at the paper in his hands where he’d hastily scrawled the directions. No mention of what he would actually find when he got here.

Glaring, John scanned the spines of each and every book in excruciating detail.

Bezoars and Breathing: A Guide to Respiratory Magic didn’t really seem like it would contain a map to the treasure so he moved on. Common Magical Ailments and Afflictions(1), The Healer's Helpmate(2), Healing at Home with Herbs(3), while all common books, were too newly printed to be of any use.

As John moved down the row the books got older, mustier, and more leathery. A Dullard’s Manual for Easy Bloodletting seemed closer to what he wanted but after paging through it, John tossed it over his shoulder angrily. With a snarl, John ripped Bald's Leechbook(4) from the shelf and set it ablaze when it, too, turned up no results.

Damn it all to hell! John was getting mighty impatient with this fuckery when suddenly he went cross-eyed.

“What in Merlin’s tits?!” John rubbed at his human eye and stared hard at the shelf again. Sure enough, his metal eye stayed firmly in its proper place while his other zoomed off into another direction. “Ah! Ye cheeky bugger,” John chuckled, realizing that there must have been a light distraction spell on the book he was looking at. While his human eye was susceptible to the magic, his metal eye could easily cut through it, alighting on a hefty tome labeled, Canon Medicinae(5,6): Annotations by the Great Salazar Slytherin.

John snorted as he opened the book, amused that Slytherin had gone so literal with his spine hint. He withdrew his decoder and leafed through the book, coming to a stop when a page made the decoder glow with a familiar lavender.

He eagerly drew the tome closer to his face as words scrawled themselves across the page.

Well met ye seeker to get this far,

But the journey is not yet done.

In vain your efforts may have been

As the search has just begun.

 Across the isle you must venture,

If the treasure’d be yours.

To a place with walls of stone,

And sealed with iron doors.

 There the muggles kneel and beg,

Blubbering words by rote.

Belonging to a simpering Earl,

who wears a checkered coat.

 When John gets to the bottom of the page he blinks hard and goes back to the top to read it again. And a third time, and a fourth time, until his eyes begin to blur and he lets out a guttural yowl. Of course he shouldn’t have expected it to be that easy!

John tries to light this book on fire as he did the last but Slytherin, that fucker, must have put an enchantment on the ruddy thing so it couldn’t be destroyed. Pettily, John jams the book back onto the shelf backwards and clomps out of the library.

The last riddle had been fucking easy, and it had been accessible. Now John only had a vague idea of where he needed to start and that was clear across the fucking country.

John slams into his office, knocking his things off is shelf in the process. He settles into his squashy chair and resigns himself to several nights of not sleeping while he un-muddles this clue.

 It is looking more and more like Slytherin was a barmy old codger… and worse, one who was obsessed with shitty rhyme schemes.

John Silver lays his head on his desk and sighs wearily.